Ugly beautiful - MY BLOODY ASS

I realise that movies are fake and so complaining about realism is somewhat ridiculous, but this is really getting to me. I’ve just sat and watched The Devil Wears Prada and right form the word go, it pissed me off.

Anne Hathaway (pictured left), yeah, her from "The Princess Diaries", no, I never watched it, no really, seriously, fine just the once, it was on Sky and I didn’t change the channel.  Anyway, Anne Hathaway plays this journalist who somehow get Meryl Streep to interview her for a job at the world’s biggest fashion magazine. All plausible so far, right? Right. Like anyone truly gives a rats ass about the plot.

Not the ass of one rat!

 

So, the thing that pisses me off is that she walks in, and walks right out again and says “I know I’m not skinny, or beautiful, or use make up, or dress well but…”.  I couldn’t fucking believe it. She’s playing the Ugly card!! For God Sake, I can handle it in a bloody kids film like “She’s All That” where’s its just Rachael Leigh Cook in glasses and Dungarees (mainly cos it’s RLC who I love more than life itself); but what the hell?

• “I’m not Skinny” She’s a size 4! Literally a Size 4!
• “or Beautiful” She’s in the FHM sexiest list for the last 2 years.
• “Or use Make Up” Now this is the kicker because the first 10 minutes of the film (including credits) were spend showing her PUTTING ON FUCKING MAKE UP.

SO, incase it’s not obvious, it’s 6am and I’ve not slept, but that’s not why I’m ranting, oh no,  it’s because my mission in life is now to….

KILL ANNE HATHAWAY.

Or possibly sleep.

Still not decided...

Kev is Incredible...

He came and met me at lunchtime today, which was odd. He hates "the city". Apparently he was meant to be shopping for 'feminine products' for Hannah. Thinking this meant underwear I decided to tag along with him.

I was wrong. He was shopping for tampons (or an equivalent). We're in Boots for like 10 minutes looking at the HUGE isle didicated to women's products (not the underwear type). I'm trying hard to look elsewhere, not that I'm overly embarressed, just that I don't really want to start reading the packets adn saying "oh, this one has Aloe Vera - we should get that one". I dont' want to go back into work discussing what an Application Enhancer is. Or if it even exists. I mean, how do you enchance the application of a tampon? Y'know what, DO NOT ANSWER THAT!

Anyway, soon a woman comes on over, and she makes the mistake of speaking to Kev:

Boots Assistant " Can I help you Sir? "
Kev " No thanks. "
Boots Assistant " There are alot to choose from, it can be a bit overwhelming. "
Kev " No, it's grand, I have a list here. "

At this point Kev pulls out a piece of  paper from his pocket, and shows it to the Boots woman.

Boots Assistant "Ah, then this is the one you want. "
Kev " I'm not sure it is. "
Boots Assistant " Well, this is the one on the paper sir. "
Kev " Yes, but if I buy the wrong one, she might get so annoyed as to never ask me to do the shopping again  "

Kev is Incredible, and thats not exactly a compliment.

Something for the weekend, sir?

BEACAUSE...

WE,

ARE,

YOUR FRIENDS!

YOU'LL,

NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN.

well come on, well come on, well come on, well come on...

*i love it when the radio plays something amazing that puts you in the mood to dance all weekend*

T-shirt

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Champions League Draw at 5.45...

Bye Bye Big Bollocks ?

Apparently, it's over.

Who won?
Was it any good?
Is that Celebrity Love Island program on still?

Anything I should know about incase it comes up in conversation?

I ain’t wasting this bad boy.

It’s raining.
It’s that good, meaty, heavy, full bodied rain.
The type that you can actually feel brush past you as it races for the ground.
Faster and faster, building momentum as the air crackles with the electricity of the thunderstorm clearing the air.
The hairs on your arms tingle a bit, and, then you start to hear the constant banging of the drops on the ground.
It’s infront of you, behind you, on your sky light, it’s all around.
All of your senses are engaged and you can help but take in a long breath.
But it’s cut short, by a small exhale of excitement.
Those small un-noticeable hairs on the back of your neck are standing up.
Surging sensations through your brain and spine with every teasing movement of the wind.
It’s like there’s someone right behind you, breathing, whispering, and you just want to grab them.
You turn round, quickly, hoping to catch a glimpse of them before reality kicks in, wishing, but knowing they’re not there.
You smile, realising that the very thought of them has your blood pumping.
Your heart is going as fast as the rain drops that you’re standing in.
You run your hand through your drenched hair, trying to remove it from your face.
You remember the time that you did that to them, right before you both fell into that dark door way and started ripping off the wet tight clothes.
You think of the way you both got caught up in the moment, moving too fast, the way you ripped buttons, the way nails scratched, bodies were slammed, breaths were missed, teeth connected and clashed, and the way you smiled at their surprised look when you did that thing.
You remember the pause, as they took that last deep breath before you both forgot about the rain.
You held their hands against the wall, as if to reaffirm that they were yours, they melted into your forearms.
And you held them tightly, moving only to wipe that single rain drop from their nose.

Of course it all comes crashing down when you realise that you’re in the communal garden, butt naked with an erection and you’re neighbours are trying to gather their washing from the patio section. That kinda kicks reality in really quickly. Then, of course, you come in and post on your blog.

Fuck, Thunderstorms make me really horny.

Right, Who wants to go out tonight ?!?!?!

No, really.

I ain’t wasting this bad boy.

Snakes on a Plane

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I've just seen that Snakes on a Plane is out in the cinema.

Given the disappointments of the cinematic releases this year, I'm wondering if it'll be any good...

Titles posting but not words. I'll try and fix after work.

It's kinda working.
I'm having to manually repost everything (which actually only involved clicking 2 buttons).
Should be all good by tomorrow.

Vampires

Yep, Vamipres. It's the ONLY explanation for it. right, we're all agreed. Vampires.

Vampires.

VAMPIRES!!!

it's not, i repeat, NOT, a hickie!!!!!